i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I understand Curling. That high.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
