youre lurking in front of me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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