from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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