if you like me you must not know who I am
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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