walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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