yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
