I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
