someone threw a dead crab at me
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
