So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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