u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
