i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
