So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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