STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
