It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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