That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
