that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
