He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
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