Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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