Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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