that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
