Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she smelled like a LAN party
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
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