Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
