So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize
