I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
