She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
