Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
