So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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