your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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