Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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