She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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