She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
