I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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