Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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