Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
