This girl is more easily done than said...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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