i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
