Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
