he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize