Fine. I'll sleep in my office
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
