he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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