Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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