got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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