Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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