Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
