She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
