The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
try to milk me bitch
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
