i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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