Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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