Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
So squirting runs in the family.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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