Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm bleeding and have questions
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
