nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
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