we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Threesome in a minivan. New low
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
