maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
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