woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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