Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
