No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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