Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
