Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
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