oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
