I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
