The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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