Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
