You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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