I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
