Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Mom said you looked used
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
