He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize